Holding Space. What do you think of when you read this? This post will be about this topic and hopefully introduce or remind you of this important topic in life.

Our physical body takes up actual space, but did you know you have an energetic body, and that also takes up space? We are a make up of frequency and we all have auras and energies/vibrations that we house in these physical bodies.

Out in the world the last couple years there was a big emphasis put on physical space with social distancing. This distance, we were told to put between ourself and others, was made out to be a good thing for us. To keep us healthy and safe. Yes to some extent physical space is clearly a given, we all like our personal space, but it can also be the opposite for us if we completely deprive ourselves of interacting with each other, physically and socially.

Our energy bodies and auras all interact with one another’s and ultimately we all need one another to thrive. We need physical contact such as kisses, hugs, cuddles, hand holding etc. Think of how skin to skin is used for infants. There is so much that goes with that and I could do a whole post on it but right now I will stick to this post. We also need social interactions. We all need each other. We are all here walking each other home.

The very unique physical and vibrational aspect of our human existence helps us to understand and feel whomever we are engaging on a much deeper level then just words and visual interpretation. Not everything is as it seems, these are very wise words. It is very important to learn what these words mean and also to tune into your own energy field. Pay attention to when it is drained and needs a recharge or reboot. It’s very important in being able to hold a safe space for someone to be vulnerable to be themselves.

Have you ever needed to talk to someone bad? You get ahold of a family member or friend or spouse and you dump it all on them? We have all done this. It always feels nice to get things out but this can be very invasive to a person’s energy, even though most times it is not malicious.

Something very important to understand is the space we can hold for ourselves and for others. When you show up for a friend, family member, co worker, or even stranger you are holding an energetic space for them to feel seen and heard, and to feel safe doing it. This is such a beautiful gift to give someone and unfortunately something that many are unable to do fully because of social wiring. Social wiring has mixed in feelings of guilt and shame making us feel obligated to be there for people at times even when you really don’t have the band width to do so.

In order to hold space for someone you have to first make sure the space your energy is comprised of and holds is charged and open for this interaction. If not you can end up feeling drained or resentful after speaking to some people, or doing certain activities.

One technique I feel is very beneficial is asking whomever it may be if they have the space to engage your energy and what you are about to share with them. Whether it be conversation or even an activity or outing you would like them to come along on.

  As much as we want to always be there for the people we care about it is not always healthy to do so if you are not maintaining a healthy balance of your energy. Maintaining it can look many different ways. There are breathing exercises, meditation, hobbies, self care, like baths, hikes, alone time, etc. anything that feeds your soul/spirit and helps your energy feel alive and expand.

I find the breath is the easiest way to align with yourself. We don’t pay attention to our breathing. It’s automatic just like our blood pumping through our body and all our internal systems working.  Take the time to connect with your breath. Feel it as it exits and enters the lungs, this can ground you. It is very helpful when the mind begins to runaway with the trains of thought.
Finding ways to recharge can help you be better for yourself and for others when they need you.

It is easy to get lost in auto pilot in our society.  Learning how to recognize and see your energy is crucial. It will help you to understand that people may or may not have the space to “be there for you” at times, and this does not make it personal. Holding space for someone can help them heal and also can be healing to you.

Once you’re able to hold space, working on listening is next, and not listening to respond, just listening. So many people don’t listen. They are listening to respond with what they want to say next. Or there is distracted listening, where a person finds their selves reviewing their day or certain moments in their head while they are supposed to present. This is very crucial to understand and to work at when really holding space for someone. It is not about you in those moments.  Try to take the time to just listen.

I personally work really hard at just listening. While out in the work force I worked with much older people then myself and I noticed many people would quickly write them off because they took longer to talk. People were so ready to say what they wanted to say or end the convo and they weren’t hearing what these people had to say. I made it one of my goals to listen and it helped me to not respond immediately or try and guess what they were trying to get out. The pauses were uncomfortable at first but then became more and more natural. Most people are not looking for you to solve their problems they just want them to be heard. Wire yourself to ask if an opinion or solution is wanted from you. Otherwise just hold the space for them to feel safe to release and speak their truth.

It’s so easy to see all the bad things around us. It really takes time to see the beauty everywhere and to hold the space for someone else to be able to see it with you.

I hope this post opened you up to tuning into your own energy and also to understanding what it means to hold space. I hope that you will reflect more on it in your every day life. I challenge you to become more present in life and to recognize when you can and cannot hold space for another and to honor that.  Thank you yet again for taking the time to read my thoughts. I love and appreciate you all.