Vulnerability. What does this mean to you? It is typically defined as the susceptibility to physical or emotional injury or attack. It is also known to mean to have one’s guard down, open to censure or criticism; assailable.

Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable? I only very recently in life have allowed myself to be vulnerable, to be exposed, through the journey of self and the journey of reconnecting to the love of self and others. When we enter the world we are vulnerable. We are at the mercy of our caregivers. Then we begin to learn the world and the survival responses to all the new stimuli around us. This changes our vulnerability. We discover that we can control this aspect of life and we think it keeps us safe. But does it?

Vulnerability is openess. Surrender. I have had a massive amount of pain in my life, both physical and emotional. Although they are two types of pain they mirror one another in response/effect and impact. I’ve practiced techniques and have developed tools to help me understand my pain. I soon came to realize through surrendering in deep self reflection that alot of it was self inflicted. I was choosing different cycles and I was repeating them over and over with different people, scenarios/situations and yet it was always the same outcome, emotional pain.

I did the same with my body. I played a sport i loved and I didn’t care if it tore my body apart. I was tough right? Tough for who? I could have chose to be tough for myself and listen to my body and possibly wouldn’t have had six surgeries. I also had to listen in regards to diet. I had alot of pancreatic pain. Stomach issues. Had the medical world all over it but no one could tell me what was wrong for years! Finally I chose to take my life out of their hands and back into my hands. This was scary. Would I fail? I surrendered to the fact that I was sick and only I could figure out what my body needed and didn’t need. I did my own scientific research completely shifting my diet to a vegetarian diet at first and eventually onto a full plant based diet. I’m healthier than I’ve ever been and have no more doctor or hospital visits. All it took was me being vulnerable and trying a new path.

I can say openly that I had placed vulnerability and the idea of being transparent in a special double locked safe in my mind as a young child growing in a turbulent home. I had to survive inside and outside my home the first six years of my life. I became unable to listen to me in that time. I decided vulnerability was weak and that I would focus on listening to others and avoiding trouble. It was all perfect, no matter how it looked or felt, it led me to here. I’m happy I can share these words and outlooks on a platform and that if even just one person reads it and feels like they are not alone then I’ve succeeded.

If I had slowed down and surrendered at a much younger age would I be much further along in my evolution to reach my highest self/best self? I do not know this but what I do know is that every choice we make is perfect. Even when it’s the choice that takes us a little longer to get us where we are meant to go. That is the beauty of this experience called life on Earth.

Step into your power. Step into vulnerability, and surrender to life. Surrender to your everyday feelings or lack there of. You can truly create a life you absolutely love but not without vulnerability. Creation is vulnerability. There is vulnerability in everything and we’ve lost sight of how brave we all are. The Magical Mermaid and the Moon came from my being, from my conscious mind. I surrender to vulnerability and hope you all enjoy every bit of the magic it is! ❤